3/25/04
<-I'm thinking about you at 16.
My son Joey called today, he's 20 years old and lives in Louisiana. He went to the dentist today and they are going to have to do a tooth extraction, the dentist wants to charge him $350 to extract the tooth, guess it has to be surgically removed.
That didn't sound right to me so I called Louisiana and found another dentist that is only going to charge $150. I knew exactly which dentist he went to when I heard how much he was going to charge.
A tooth extraction at 20 does not sound good. He's no longer under my insurance and I'm sure that like most kids health insurance and dental insurance seems about as important as starting a 401K plan. I worry about my son, it's not easy with him being so far away. I hope he takes good care of his teeth they have to last a long, long time.
*** Coy ***
¶ 2:54 AM 3 comments
3/25/04
This is my daughter Mandy. She's 17 years old, in beauty school and is one of the people that I love most in the world.
What's best for Mandy is normally what is most important to me and that makes my job really hard. I'm so proud of her and watching as she grows into a strong independent young woman is big pay off after all the effort I've put in over the years.
Of course like most kids at 17 she has her own agenda and often needs to be reminded to stay on track. Learning to let go and relinquish control, isn't going to be easy. Trusting that as she spreads her wings she'll be able to make the right decisions for herself is something I'm going to have to work on.
I am sure that most mothers struggle with this as their kids become teenagers and then young adults.
I love Mandy and feel that to be a better mother to her I need to shift some of my focus off of her and begin to focus more on myself and becoming a better me. That's where I'm at in my life right now, and ... I'm beginning to realize, the journey might not be as easy as it sounds.
I love these seagull pictures they were taken this past New Year's Day on Hillsboro Beach near where we live. We often spend New Year's Day together at the beach and I hope we always will. Have I ever mentioned how much I love living in South Florida?
*** Coy ***
¶ 3:02 PM 5 comments
Those of us holding out in J-Land to see what AOL was going to do about the banner ads, finally have an answer. Bill Schreiner, VP for AOL community programing addresses the situation in Joe's Magic Smoke Journal.
In short he says that the banner ads are staying and that they're sorry if putting the ads in our journals that we pay for, changes the way some of us feel about AOL. He also says that those of us that have chosen to move on will always be welcome in J-Land ... " J-Land" !!!
He says we will always be welcome in J-Land like he coined the phrase or something.
This community VP that we've never even heard of before has no idea that the members of this community that are upset and moving on (ARE J-LAND).
As I recall, it was Slo Mo in correspondence with Free Peace that came up with the name J-Land as a term of endearment towards the close knit members of this community that we have formed here. This has "NOTHING" to do with AOL.
I suggested to Mr. Schreiner that he get permission from Slo Mo before he begins shaking hands, kissing babies and calling himself the VP of the J-Land Community.
We have demonstrated time and time again that we the people ... the writers, the poets, the artists, the photographers, the online as well as real life friends found here, are J-Land. NOT THE CORPORATE OUT TO MAKE A BUCK ANY WAY WE CAN OVERLORDS OF AOL. The Vivi awards are a perfect example of this.
AOL has left me no choice but to reserve myself a Blogspot and move out into cyberspace with the rest of my J-Land friends. I don't know how everyone else feels about it, but I'm thinking that no matter where we end up journaling, it will be J-Land to me as long as we all stick together. AOL overlords will never have anything to do with that.
Now, about Blogspot ... I did reserve a Blogspot for Dancing in the Rain about a week or so ago. I've got a little time on my hands this month and would like to move all of my archives there before I fully move in and start posting daily.
I'm already having problems. When I view my blog, I'm only seeing the first entry that I posted. The others are there ... I just don't see them. Anyone have any advice on getting started with blogger without getting frustrated?
Of course my choice for J-Link du jour is called a message from above, it's the one written by "Our Community VP???" over in the "Official AOL Journals Blog???" Magic Smoke, found HERE.
¶ 5:58 PM 4 comments
So often I direct most of my time and energy to taking care of what's best for the people that I love the most. It can become all consuming and sometimes I forget to take care of what’s most important me.
I want my daily rounds to become more motivated to making necessary choices that will bring more health, joy, love, creativity, passion and contentment to my own life.
Today my journey changes direction as I begin to reclaim my life. I'll be searching for the knowledge and determination to make the crucial changes that will allow me to become the best me that I can be.
This reminds me of a song that Chris, (one of the closest friends that I've ever had) wrote over 25 years ago. The song is called "Just like a Light House." The lyrics included a part that said ... “I’m just like a light house on a stormy sea, if your boat gets lost you can depend on me. When it's cold as the rain and it’s black as the night, look for me and I am always in sight. But all I want to know is who, who looks out for me when I'm looking out for you?”
The truth is ... no one. No one looks out for me. I have spent so much time looking out for everyone else, when I should have spent more time looking out for me.
The journey begins.
*** Coy *** ¶ 5:51 AM 1 comments
In search of me
I am 41 years old, a single mother in South Florida, and have fewer responsibilities to others than I ever have in my life. My life is finally becomming my own and sometimes I dont take full advantage of that freedom.
I am in search of me. I am learning that every day I am given the opportunity to reinvent my self and the sky is the limit.
Finding adventure and pleasure is becomming a driving force in my life. Creative liberties for my future are compleatly in my hands. No one is going to pave the way for me.
I do have to remind my self sometimes to let love in, I forget that love like life is not a constant state of being. It is made up of ordinary moments and incredible moments. Being loveable is the first step to being able to love.
When I care enough to listen to a friends thoughts, truths and new ideas they will often care enough to listen back and then I feel loved and less alone.
I can remember the day that I wrote this ... at that time, I had no idea what an adventure writing Dancing in the Rain would become and how many friends I would find along the way. Most of them have moved to blogspot and I'm following them here. ¶ 7:30 PM 4 comments
